LIFE CHECK 🎑📚✏📝

i still  carry it with me
the pain memories that i wanted to cherish forever
it is nothing big deal as long as you are still alive
Life is not wonderful if you are not feeling down at rock bottom
 ---- end----


this should not be getting on my nerves
but somehow, i discover i still afraid to face the fears.
the real fears that can collapse me anytime ; love
----- end ----

what is good life?
not doing bad things and working diligently .
--itaewon class 2020----

the bigger the dream, the bigger you will grow ---itaewon class 2020---'

Note to my dear self in future: So many korean dramas have been influencing you in positive ways. It madr you realised that you are a human not robot systemise by community. This drama teach you a lot. Never the less; teach about life value and how to strengthen your own beliefs and life principals. no matter who you are, it is a  fighting within yourself. to judging, to believe, to forcing someone else to believe your principals, it is about how you manaage to do that. Verbally attack is not how we do it these day. so thanks people surround you whom have been showing the real life it is.  

Memories 🗻

i seem to forget everything I had went through that why, writing is one thing that i must keep be doing to flashback all my memories. But i never decided to hang on my past. I just want to cherish them the way they were. 

I am not sad and I am not too proud. I want to compliment myself for hang in those moments which I would regarded as hard and terrified. Regardless of that, there is none of the days I would like to end my life miserably and there is none of the day that I feel I am the most pitiful. thanks memories 🌼

Just as a rememberance; in 2019 I mostly be doing online business through Instagram and from that, I could furnish myself into a marketer. Never thought I have such talent 😂. Even it is not much, they are still memories I want to cherish forever !

LOVE LESS 💔✌💆💅💃 DANCE MORE 💞

i looked around, i know i am different
i gonna do nothing with the differencess gap, it was all for an act. to wait for someone to meddle is impossible. even i cannot imagine it. the things they paved along their way is so beautiful that sometimes i ask for replacement. i am not that bitch to not be grateful everytime. i look deeper and started to feel bless but i cant help myself sometimes i am feeling worst. the love life of somebody elses might be you queing dreams. a very long wanted dream. even if you are not sure about a single things that is happening. i decided, not to please anymore, be more front and outspoken even when someone is hurt. why ; cause i need to take care of myself first. the frontline should be me myself first. no one else can do. nobody. and you need to started thinking about yourself. earn everyday, you sacrifice times, earn less, you sacrifice happiness in your life.

💟🏡

What I did today, I want to record it as much as I can, I think I would love to see me back then in the future.

I want to feel it on my own, is there any regretment left in myself? 
I thanks people for coming into my life even they are just passerby. I learnt a lot from people and by seeing others people do, I slowly started to understand myself more. Now I can differentiate myself with others. I feel grateful as Allah still give me ways to thinks and willingness to improve better, even sometimes and usually I felt anxious.

There is a wisdom said in Islam, they say maybe the one thing you dont want is good for you and one thing that you really wanted is bad for you. Only Allah knows the secret better than you. I am easily persuaded by situation. I am not straight, I am just putting myself in that shoes for my own benefit at mind. when I feel like I can understand them, I would give em a face, but when it is not, there is no way they could reach it either. I blocked the way already.

 Sometimes, I felt sorry towards the people that really care for me, but I cant help myself to think, People are not always in a good shape, they float and wave too, if it is always in the same way, they will crashed it once someday. So, be prepared but loose and lenient. 

PAVE YOUR PATH ON YOUR OWN TIME 🐣🌼💗🔜⏳⏰

so many things being answered gradually
give yourself time, give yourself time
time is what yourself need
it wont be same like others
it really takes time for you to realise your dream
i know now it really hard for me to hold people now,
it is a matter of time
give yourself time and improve
who are not stake their life to the final path? everyone is tired and pathetic,
it is how they were enduring things
go for it. even it is lame, wait for a bit.
you will get an answer to everything

nameless : ost go go squid

FROM CHOICES TO BEARABLE💗🌷

Keep inspired by people surrounding you gives the rush to your adrenaline. You keen to find the real meaning of your own life. You be the priority.I started to look out for my life, my world, my view. it is not a suitable times for you to seek me when I am the one who still struggling to get out from here.It was not fair for me, as I look like a villain here. Please do things leniently. People have their path crossed differently. You would wish yours was better, but in other's view, we ourselves would never know. I would love to stop thinking from 3rd person's view. It keep tiring me out. Please cut me some slack on it, I would do the same too. when it is the times I had understood everything, I promise you to come back as better person.

SELF MANAGEMENT 😠😡😢😯😂

When I sad, I never got the answer to all my querries. When I sad and mad, I never manage to fell good inside.Later on, I realised that Allah answered at most right time. Even during the querries being answered, I still was not convinced.

It was in an evening, so suddenly I felt that was happenned because of this, this was happenned because of that. Just like that, my questions got answered. I admit, it was never easy waiting but it was worth to wait for it. You will feel a peace satisfaction towards yourself.

In the meantime, Just do whatever you can do to sooth out yourself in a good way.

People just need many reflections moment in their life. so that they will gain courage and positivity from that. Nobody was perfect and nobody is ever dying before their trying to be perfect. only that, we need to chill out and handling ourself more better regard times. self reflect as me myself pun kelaut sometimes. just do whatever you want to do but always in a good manner and never give up. Letih itu biasa, bila letih p la segar angin org kata. you yourself is your first priority before other. you cannot love others before loving yourself. that what is matter. care about your mental health, care about yourself. depression can be treated, if you give yourself chances. Peace  😊

It happen to anybody. Either it is dark moment, sad moment, miserable moment, financial problems moments, you named it. It is happen to anybody. So dont feel sad and cheer up yourself. They got level of hardness, you destroy them by twisting the plot to smile. 

Hence be proud being you and be nice.
Again, I need to remind to you that are reading this, it may sounded so narcissistic, but being a narcissist for a couple of minutes to make you feel good innerside is not wrong at all. 😉 Sending millions loves and smiles to you. WINKS too 😘