MAMA

i dont know how she handle all the stress
i dont know how she handle all the flames
i hope she is doing good
everytime
i look up for the worst
i cant resist
i tried but it meaningless
the heart is too weak for such a test
in the meantime others can smile; why not me in suffering
am i the ungrateful one
no
i am afraid of losing someone i cherished a lot
i could not imagine life without her
the flames wont burn out just because i cried and lashed.
they said time would heal i doubt that ever

INSTEAD

I would happy to see the ones I taught be super wise on their knowledges, 

But I would be extremely proud and blessed when the ones I taught instill honesty and kindness into themselves. 

That are what would make up a good community which lead into an excellent society.

When each one of us did their roles seriously, 

the better our communities,

the more excellent generations we created. 

to strive towards excellent
everyone should pile one load and deliver it some way.

There must be ways, there must be options

Kudos to hardships

Kudos to unfaithful person

I got to learn

but you should stop now cause I already reached into my limit

-WRATH-

BLAST

Special, 

When somebody asks me what is special for you? 

I answered to see my beloved one happy and smile

Or to be truth to always see my beloved ones still standing on their feet

The day I marked in my life it is special,

I wanted to do something

I wanted to nourish care

I wanted to spark love

I wanted to breed sincerity

Of course I cannot do much

However, I am sure of one thing

My doa would reach them

Always

No money needed

No brands included

Only peace involved

Happy best day my precious ones

I am not the best present but I will always work hard to be one

Excuse my foolish and excessive attitude

SPOTLIGHT

I told my heart to be ready

for certain things

I told my heart not to be petty

for many things

I told my heart to always changing

for good things

I told my heart to be calm

for the things that always made me angry

I told my heart to accept everyday

the way life it is

I forgot the things like

I need to feed my brain first

I need to improve myself first

I need to install life knowledge more

I need to interact more ( even if I do not want to)

and what most important is

I forgot to let myself rest first

I am a way too force myself until it is exhausted, 

But we always have ways and choices

 took life simply but in an alert mode

Told myself it is okay to rest for while

Told myself never push myself too hard

Told myself to should not constraint everytime.

ON THE FOOT

The nobody stories seems to attract more hatred from anybody

The misunderstood intentions probed out 

I cannot look up anymore

I am not mean harm

Never wanted to show off

Never wanted to compare as I always on the poor side

When the wrath burst out, it appears me as a bad person

I do not mind

When the wrath burst out, it appears me as someone who is full of hatred

I still do not mind

When the wrath burst out, it appears me as someone who is full of revenges

I try to hold up

I am a human, 

Your words lingers in my mind

Knives into my heart

I could not help but to feel angry

I could not help but to rebel

It dragged me into a foolish

It dragged me into a petty

I would not get it back

as the wrath did grow and burst

as I felt the unfairness which made me into ungrateful person

I am a human 

and I am fighting with myself 

but others are involved just to complete the story as whole.

SPACEMIND

I am writing 

not to let people knew about me 

not to get sympathy

not to let people know I am in hardship

Instead, I am writing 

to peace out my mind

to make sure my mind is still running properly

to take care of my mental health

to express myself

to let others understood something 

to let them learn something from my life

to give calm to mine

and what so important

I am writing , 

to let me know I am still alive 

SHINING STAR THAT ALWAYS SHINING

Marked one week

We have been left behind

We have been living in different world

Nothing much has changed since then

As you always told us to be ready

It seems we are ready all the time

You left with so much beautiful stories and seeds behind

We shall take a good care of the memories

I lose one spot to be kind 

The spot that sometimes and always I ignored

I am sorry and I am not sorry

I love you with all of my heart

No one can tells me not to

My love for you is pure

I am regret for not showing my love properly

I am regret for not telling you how much I care for you

I am regret for only showing it through action

I am regret only saying I love you once

I am sorry for that

I shall continue to show you my love through Doa

I know it will reach there

The place you are staying right now 

I love you as always 😊

Al Fatihah : My Grandmother